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seven
things you didn't know about face hair ( updated Sat
13th Nov 1999 )
Guinness And Facial
Bush Doesn't Match ( Sat 26th Feb 2000 )
Facehair Websites Charts
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See the Fully Thatched Face press -> HERE<
...Doctors have proved time and again, that the natural state of a man's
face is hairy. Only since the advent of razor sharp steel has it been possible
to return the male face to the pre-pubescent "clean shaven" look.
Just try having a shave with a sharp flint, - Impossible! A bronze
spike, - too soft! Even iron would have no effect but scratching....
The enormity of the above statement should be enough to rock the foundations of everyday life, Strike fear into a modern razor worker, cause serious contemplation to any busybody and worry every modern inquiring old so-and-so.
So why do men shave then?
- Fashion . . . perhaps
- Itching stubble . . . "ooh hurts"
- To attract women to a
youthful face, thereby playing on natural maternal instinct . . . maybe
- Peer pressure . . . sometimes
- Age worry . . . `could happen
All these are fanciful ideas, but the real reason stretches back 200 years to the saxons and the normans, King Harold, the battle of hastings and ten sixty six, ( which wasn't the date, it was the local lager), but historians refuse to acknowledge this carbon dating proved fact, because like the pyramids, and other oopoots "out of place out of time" there very existence doesn't fit in with conventional historical chronology.
Indeed there is a sinister side to this much overlooked subject. And this might be the reason why the topic is taboo, even among most men. Even twin brothers, probably. . .
- - - B
U T -
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The first tax was the codpiece tax, which was aimed at one particular man, the Marquis of Buckingham. He used to wear an elaborate codpiece and was boorish. It used to be said of him that once, when drunk he stood on a table in a banquet and removed the garment and revealed his genitalia complete with his three testicles. The tax raised so much from him and his sons ( who carried on the tradition ), that the buckingham palace was built with the proceeds. ( this is the first buckingham palace, not the current one which was built much later , and in a different place by the victorians. . . and facing a different direction, and different colour ).
The next tax was window tax, this lasted until the early 20th century, and even today, lots of old buildings can be found, still standing, all over the british isles, which were built with window sills and stone lintels atop a window shape opening, but bricks where the pain of glass should be. So the occupants didn't have to pay as much as if they would have had a full compliment of windows. But be warned, it has been known for some unscrupulous window cleaners, to charge for cleaning these brick windows.
The next stupid tax was the shortest of them all, repealed after two hours. But in the history books non the less, it was the stovepipe hat tax. This didn't last because the hat in reality never existed. It was just a made up millinery in a popular book of the time by charley dickens or someone.
Now we shall get to the crux of the matter, The Moustache Tax ! every
man who sported any type of face hair, had to pay an amount of tax relating
to the length of whiskerage on his face.
Instead of surpressing the beard, this made elaborate and ever longer
face hair " de rigour " in the swinging capital, so much so that the fashion
caught on as far afield as Paris. The larger your beard was, meant
that the more tax you could afford to pay, and as a consequence the wealthier
you looked. Newspapers of the time, which were printed on rag not
paper, had diagrams of the latest handlebar moustaches seen in mayfair,
on page three!!
It was at this point in time, when, a young gentleman
would have a great deal of difficulty, attracting the charms of any but
the most desperate of maiden, unless, of course, he had sufficient facial
hair. This would advertise his ability to provide a grand wedding ceremony,
and to support her and their offspring, and the required full complement
of butlers, maids, nannies and cooks, as was the fashion of the day. If
his beard was particularly large, then she might also covet a hermit for
the bottom of the garden. This was a pre-requisite for all the best houses.
Although these difficult characters where hard to manage, and were often
sacked for sneaking off to the pub.
The Great Face Hair Debacle
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