" Whilst we all are aware of what a privilege, and sign of virility it is to have a moustache, scientists have discovered that it can cause a waste to occur when drinking Guinness. "

Guinness drinkers with moustaches are unknowingly wasting 162,719 pints every single year. This occurs because Guinness gets trapped in their facial hair.

Scientific research, commissioned by The Brewing Company, and published on 24th Feb 2000, found that the average moustachioed Guinness drinker, traps a pint and a half of the creamy nectar every year. Now Guinness is £2.10, a pint, this is the equivalent of a £4.58 moustache tax, annually.

There are an estimated 92,370 drinkers with facial hair in the uk ( men and women ), and they consume on average 180 pints each year.

using the following formula :-
 

It can be seen that there is £423,070 wasted each year. Which could be better spent on more nurses for the NHS or locking a convicted felon up for life, for one year.

A specialist in hair science and dermatological conditions at the university of oxford and cambridge, said this morning that Guinness gets stuck in the hairs.
He had spent two days testing human Moustachioed Guinness Guzzling Guinea Pigs, using a tissue and a set of right good weighing scales.
Some other findings are as follows :-
 

1. Face hair is capable of absorbing 20% of its own weight in liquid
2. The majority of wastage occurs between the whiskers
3. Guinness is black
4. Some People Don't Like Guinness, and don't drink it
5. The average drinker takes ten sips to drink a pint
6. The more you drink the drunker you get
7. The average sip wastes 0.56 millimetres of Guinness
8. The average pint glass holds around one pint
9. You can see the colour through the glass
10. You can make a Guinness and meat pie
11. The Guinness book is full of records

The Following Celebrities were rigorously tested for their differing types of facial hair, so that the average punter can gauge his or her ability to waste Guinness on his or her own

WG Grace ( Cricketer )
Dr. William Gilbert Grace
" The Doctor ", now 170years old, sports a magnificent shaggy walrus moustache which wastes £27.48 a year in extra Guinness.
First class cricketing career spanning 43 years, over 50,000 runs and 3,000 wickets

Noel Edmonds ( TV Presenter From 1980's )
This has the added complication of a full beard to soak away extra Guinness, wasting £22.90 a year. But he'd probably spill most of it anyway as he only travels by helicopter.

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Des Lynam ( Footballer )
Dashing Des looses only £12 a year, which is good news because footballers usually do another kind of dribbling.

George Michul ( Swinger )
The most economical close cropped and carefully shaped one of the quartet, loosing only £9.16 a year. No wonder he so wealthy.