Seven things that you didn't know about face hair

Updated  Sat 13th November 1999 re - updated Sat 26th February 2000
Nu metal updated Tues 19th March 2002, Prof Rastus Bümfloss Picture 10 Aug 2002

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• Beard in Spanish, Italian and Portuguese is Barba, and in French Barbe, so don't be surprised if your local barber is wearing a full set of facial hair.
• Frank Beard the, drummer,  is the only member of  ZZtop who doesn't have a beard
• but he does have a moustache
• The violent and dangerous criminal Charles Bronson can lift a washing machine full of water and swing it about on his beard
• And he's in the Guinness book of records for it
• Some people with very large beards can get food stuck in them
• very short men often grow beards or bushy moustaches so that they can get served in pubs or buy a "jazz" mag from the newsagents without being challenged about their age
• men with wax moustaches, like Hercule Pairot, sometimes sleep with a moustache bra in place to keep the shape of  his fluff until the next morning
• Tramps and chain smokers often get unsightly nicotine stains in their fuzz
• Arctic explorers often grow beards, and they freeze in the icy blast
• Firemen and Fire women are not allowed to have face hair because it prevents breathing equipment from fitting properly
• If your face hair is a different colour than your hair hair, that's a sign of strength.  { according to my uncle }
• Noel Edmonds at my school, { not the famous noel edmonds }, was shaving every day when he was 11 years old !
• the native american indians genetically had little, if any face hair
• The bearded collie breed of dog doesn't have a beard, but it does have a bushy white ring of fur around its head. Which in theory would look like a beard. But you would have to be very drunk, and very short sited without your glasses.
• All Circus shows used to have bearded ladies
• if you have a tattoo on your chin don't grow a beard because it will be covered up with hair and no one will be able to see it !

• if you have a tattoo on your chin that you don't want anymore, don't waste precious drinking money on expensive laser tattoo removal treatments, no... just grow a beard and cover it up and that will cost you no money at all.
• in 1967, the beatles, ( an old pop group ), gave away cut out cardboard moustaches with their Sgt. Peppers album
• I grew a full beard while I was on the norfolk Broads a few years ago
• Then I trimmed it down to a goatee before going back to work
• If you dye your hair with greesian two thousand, do your beard too, or it'll be like a woman when the collars and cuffs dont match!! ( thats how you tell if she's a natural blonde ) if you get my drift
• Tony Blair ( the Prime Minister ) prefers his ministers to be clean shaven, apart from Robin Cook, who can't get served in the pub because he's a bit too short.
• You can get electric shavers now and Victor Kiam was so impressed he bought the company !
• Victor is actually real, even though he looks like one of those ridiculous american movie actors with a stewed prune sun tan and annoying whiny voice
• I don't know about that Orick hoover bloke though
• The lead singer from the pop group ASH, said in an interview on the television in 1997, that where he comes from in Ireland, all the older men have eyebrows on their cheeks. And some of them have them on their nose
• In the Canterbury Tales, the first important mass appeal book published in English so the commoner could enjoy it, not Latin, there is a story of a massive bloke who can open doors with his head, and he has a mole, or boil on the end of his nose with thick stubbly red hairs growing out of it.

New Points Courtesy of Arcticbeard

6th October 2004

• Frank Zappa and Dizzy Gillespie both had great facial hair, Zappas moustache was a great icon
• Dizzy Gillespie's facial hair, called an imperial, (a small square of hair just below the bottom lip, Zappa had this too)