Mobile Phones

8th April 2000
Updated 15th October 2000
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There was a brief period, for six months in 1992, when it was cool to have the possession of a mobile phone. Then Del Boy on Only Fools And Horses was seen flogging them off from his suitcase in the local boozer, and the devices became the tool of the spiv.
Up until this point you had to be well-off to have a mobile phone, Afterward it would seem that you would have to be the opposite.

Nowadays of course, people with any class about them, keep any mobile phone they are in possession of, well hidden. And the people who in the eighties were wearing shell suits, arrange their attire so that everyone can see their mobile phone hanging from their belt, and you see the workshy and beerbellied layabout class ringing each other up in public.

Speaking for myself, there is no freedom finer, than being incognito, unreachable and unencumbered. And I fail to understand the thinking around the various ar*eholes, that allow their phones to ring on the Train or Bus, before continuing with a very loud, pointless and vacuous conversation, which only succeeds in proving to their fellow travellers, the limits of their so called " connected " travelling colleague's vocabulary.
Indeed, if I were to find myself in the sorry state of having to carry such a devilish item myself, ( for a work or contacting commitment ), I would certainly remove the battery when in a public place.

1 It's a scientific fact that intensive radiation like X-rays and microwaves can cause cancer, and that radio waves cause sterility in both Males and Females

2 The Mobile Phone companies have done research into the harmful effects of the usage of mobile phones and admit only the following symptoms so far :-
a) Body temperature rises, b) Headaches, c) Heart strain, d) Dizziness, e) Sickness, f) Loss of concentration
And what is more interesting, is what they don't admit

3 Digital Mobile Phones are in constant communication with the local Cells. This can be heard as interference on the radio where a mobile phone is switched on nearby.
This means that the phone is transmitting even when it is not being used.

4 When the mobile phone is used in a Shielding Cover, this has the effect of telling the unit that it is in a restricting atmosphere such as a tunnel, and has the effect of turning up the transmission power. These covers were manufactured by the mobile phone companies to allay fears of radiation damage to the user, But they increase the radiation, instead of decreasing it.

5 Recently, independent testing on earpiece accessories, have found that the extended aerial, that the wire to the ear provides, has the effect of delivering a larger and more focussed dose of radiation to the ear.
The accessories were sold under the pretext of offering safer use to the user, because the transmission unit was further away from the brain, but the earpiece makes the radiation effect much worse.
In defence, two mobile phone companies said " we didn't supply these kits! "

6 Belt mounts for mobile phones were provided to allow somewhere convenient for the unit to be docked, when not in use. But the independent testing has found that this area of the body is more prone to radiation damage, especially in the spleen, pelvic soft tissue and reproductive organs, than the better protected brain which has a thick bony skull to offer some sort of protection. Bear in mind that a digital mobile phone is in constant communication with the cell when powered up, even if not actually connected to a call. This means it is transmitting, and emitting radiation, every few seconds.

7 The amount of children using mobile phones is frightening. It seems that they are as important as the latest silly fashions for stacked up trainers and puffa jackets. Is the developing brain of a child more, or less likely to suffer from the deadly mobile phone radiation than an adult one?
We probably won't know for ten years

8 There was evidence published a year ago, of sales reps who used large early mobile phones that were mounted under the car seat. It showed a noticeable drop in sperm count. But these phones had 5 times more output power, whereas later phones were restricted due to international standards and medical advice.
Was the current power output level set at a truly safe level? No because the device would have no useful range

Metal Knickers
26th April 2000 A news item on the BBC, stated that Japanese men have started wearing metallic under pants. The underwear is Y-front style made with silver coated nylon thread. They are said to reduce Electromagnetic radiation from the mobile phone by 95%.
The pants are selling out in Japan, because the Japanese Males are fully aware of the risk of Sterility, and want to protect their 2 veg from the harmful rays!!!
Selling Us Out
The british government has sold the rights to the frequencies for the next generation of mobile phones for 22 billion pounds.
Government Report
12th May 2000 a government commissioned report has led to the latest advice. Which is suspiciously vague. The vagueness is hardly surprising after the massive windfall that the mobile phone industry has just forked out for. But after a breathing space of a few months, the real findings and advice will no doubt come to light.
The report's findings into the damaging health risks of mobile phone radiation is supposed to have found no evidence, but if this is true why are the recommendations along the lines of discouragement of children from using the deathly devices, and removing phone masts from the range of schools and residential areas?
Why has the government commissioned further more detailed studies, if the more general preliminary study found nothing. More likely the general study highlighted certain areas of concern, which need to be investigated much more deeply.
Dangerous Flight
16th May 2000 The Civil Aviation Department has confirmed, that recent tests have proved that mobile phones do interfere with the equipment and instrumentation on aircraft. And are considering new regulations relating to the sentencing of passengers found trying to use mobile phones in the air, better detection, and signal jamming equipment.
Reaction Times
    The University of Bristol conducted some studies in 1999 and found that reaction times were seriously affected by the use of mobile phones. This means that while driving, the subject is likely to drive dangerously.
    I can vouch for these foundings personally as I was bumped by a man from behind who was using a mobile phone while driving, and in 14  years I have never been bumped before.
    Also, I have observed for many years, people who while taking on their mobile phone, failing to negotiate bends in the road and roundabouts in a sober fashon. Every day I see someone holding up a line of traffic at an emerging junction, eyes glazed over, cheek pressed to tacky plastic, mouth in full gallop.
    It was only about three years ago when the rock drummining legend Cozy Powell, totalled his car and his life, while talking to his girlfriend on a mobile phone.

Interrupted Sleep
Using a mobile phone before going to sleep may affect your brain activity for three quarters of an hour while you are falling to sleep, and you thought cheese was bad.
Scientists at the University of Zurich found that suppertime use of mobile phones leads to a suspected chemical imbalance in the Thalamus, which disrupts brain activity during early stages of sleep.

Too Right Ma'am - 17th Nov 2000
The Queen, herself annoyed to the back teeth, with the incesent interruption and bleeping of the  childish devices, has banned them from the palace... Good for her, may the trend spread.

Mobile Health Probe - 13th Dec 2000
Due to realisation, and panic by mobile phone manufacturers, they are providing 3.5 million pounds for research over the next three years. This money is being matched by the government, to boost it to 7 million.
" There is no question that microwave radiation can be hazardous to human health, The question is how hazardous is it ", Said Professor James Lin, of Bioengineering at the University of Illinois.
    After the Stewart report in May, every new mobile phone will be sent out with an advice leaflet. The advice leaflet will recommend keeping calls short, especially for under 16s, but not using it while driving, and considering the SAR (specific absorbtion rate) when choosing a model.

The standard method of measuring SAR has not yet been agreed, and is not likely to be until summer 2001.

Dangerous Driving - 13th May 2001
    Anyone who has attempted the dangerous activity of talking to a mobile phone while driving, can testify how much it degrades their driving. Hands free driving kits don't help, because you don't need your hands to speak into a mobile phone anyway, you need the full attention of your brain.

    A study at Toronto University, of detailed collision data, found that if you are using a mobile phone, you are 4 times more likely to have an accident, than if you are not. And crucially if you are using hands free, you are 6 times more likely to have an accident than a driver who is mobile free.

    This is because the person at the other end of the conversation is unaware of the driving conditions. And if they were actually in the car, then they would stop talking if a driving hazard occured.

Mobile Phones
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